Friday, January 22, 2010

The Single Greatest Find in The History of Everything Part II: More cheesy explosions than a Michael Bay movie

Very long time Ladies and Hosers. A lot has gone down that I could've posted about in the last few months to say the least, but with such little time, I'll give a quick recap of the last few months:
-UNH has issues with teams in red (communist plot?)
-Good Guys in Blue strong in Hockey East
-Rex Ryan is really fat
-The Winter Classic: Best $300.00 I have ever spent in my life
-Hose-Head and I got to see Charlie Jacobs and Tom Werner throw down at Fenway
-Mainers still suck
-Turns out NU is absolutely nothing without Thiessen
-Um-Ass still sucks too

But now we turn our attention to something much more important to the masses. There comes a moment in recorded history that grabs the attention of humanity by the testicles. Something so shocking, mind-blowing, and thought provoking that it could even cause the most inbred and corrupt Mainer to actually date someone outside of his own family that is actually a female human being.

And then that something creates a sequel....And nothing is ever the same again.

Ladies and Hosers, Madames et Monseiurs, Mainers and Douchebags, I give you the 2009-2010 Alaska Fairbanks Nanooks intro video!

Another one of those rare moments where the sequel outduels the original! But let us analyze the messages this masterwork of absurdity.

-Are these videos made during the Winter Solstice in Alaska? 24 hours of Sunlight while good for deflecting Vampires, must do a number on the mind.
-The one Giant Space Polar Bear laying waste to Anchorage, the Hubble Telescope, and the Moon is no longer enough...It appears their target is now a random Oil Tanker, Michigan St, Ohio St, Miami of Not Florida, and then the world itself while flying fighter jets and bombing volcanoes...THESE CREATURES HAVE NO LIMITS TO THE TERROR THEY CAN INFLICT!!!
-Kenny Loggins continues to provide the soundtrack for these videos...Alaskans must really like that whole Val Kilmer/Tom Cruise volleyball scene in "Top Gun".
-Take note, apparently the best real estate for rinks in the future are on distant Asteroids
-Hockey programs could save millions if they could learn how to magically make a Synergy like the Giant Space Polar Bears.

That's all for now, until the next time something completely absurd catches my attention,

Good day, Eh!