Roasting Darci Wilder: Hosers save the Queen

Still quote of the week:
THAT IS THE FACE OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!!
-Rob

Hosers save the Queen!
Today, ladies and Hosers, I bring you a very special edition of my regular ramblings and rants.Some of you I assume are still reveling in our recent thrashing of Merrimack and are still enjoying our recent high rankings in the polls. But now we have a new reason to celebrate in Hoser Nation. We have recently celebrated the birthday of Grandpa Hoser. We estimate his age to be somewhere between 30 and 2,000 years of age as he has claimed to have beaten Jesus and Moses in Texas Hold'em and that both owe him money. But another noteworthy Hoser is celebrating a birthday.

UML fans fear her, BU fans thank her for her teachings, BC fans want to recruit her, and those in UNH know her power. She's been called the crazy girl in the front row, Mainer's kryptonite, Momma Hoser, and Queen of the Hosers. We just call her Darci.

From the very beginning, everybody knew there was something specialed about this young lady. Before most kids could walk, She could skate, belly dance, and sing to the rhythmical stylings of Clarence Carter...Walking is sometimes an issue though. Everyday we storm the rinks of College Hockey, she's there with her usual undeniable grace and coordination. Gravity be damned as she attempts to conquer the perilous stairs of the Arena's we grace with our presence. Several artists all over Europe have clammered to have her signs displayed in all the major museums across the world. Her now famous Awesom-o work has been offered the place in the Louvre where the Mona Lisa usually is on display. They often are willing to pay even more for the signs that are untainted by the ridiculous practice of "spell checking".

For those who are in search of truly deep inspiration, I suggest you look back on back issues of the quote book. There are some truly inspirational nuggets of unintentional wisdom that she has brought to our intention throughout the years. She has always endorsed the simple things in life such as leaving yourself wide open to alot of things and being double handed. Her seasonal contributions to the quote books are such literary masterpieces, they make the DaVinci Code look like another Terrel Owen's Childrens book. She reminds us in other simple ways to amuse ourselves when bored. Whether it's dragging a black bear on a noose behind the "Jeef", yelling at Non-Hosers who stare at our greatness while we camp out at the Hoser-Dome, teaching young children at BU about "sex" and "orgy", and of course getting lost anywhere possible even with the help of GPS.

Our Queen has also made siginificant contributions to science as well. Her most noteworthy experiment occurred back in 2005 when she and one of our most noteworthy Hoser Alcohol research specialists traveled to Columbus. This was the 1st recorded occurrence of the now well know "Darci-Effect". The groundbreaking research concluded that the further a Hoser travels across the country to the west, they tend to lose many of their traditional cognitive skills and most of their coordination. Further research on this phenomenon shall be conducted in December on the way to Florida as we will determine if the "Darci Effect" applies to traveling to the southern US. She also appears to have a certain magnetism as it has been noticed that small children tend to flock to her in drones. Some apparently are so drawn to her, they even attempt to digest her royal hair..possibly for nutritional supplements or maybe in hopes they might inherit some of the royalty. Even the Children unfortunate enough to be born and raised in Maine are drawn to her, obviously to give them a sense of hope. She also works partime as a dance instructor to inner city children, where the "Hey Ya!" is now the biggest dance craze since the macarena.

Now that I have run out of things to roast her about for the moment, we shall be serious for once in this piece of internet ramblings. There's a reason why all the other schools are jealous of us Hosers, its obviously because we got the best on our side. I've been around Hockey my entire life and I've never met a fan at any level of the game with the same level of dedication and passion she has for this team. And it takes alot just to sit through one game worth of Brian Yandle and Eddie Caron! Nobody puts more time, money, and heart into being a hockey fan than she does, and we are all lucky to have her in Hoser Nation, and we are even more so luckier to have her as a friend more importantly. Happy Birthday your majesty, you are the greatest of the great NH Hosers and we love ya! Now everybody return to practicing your Provi-dances and until next time,

Good day, eh!
Rouge

ps: feel free to post your favorite Darci moments here!

and Oh yeah, Erinn spellchecked this for me after I had the blogger spellcheck it already, so no players stats were erroneously written and no player's names were mispelled this time around, Darci ;-p