Hoser Orientation Day Mailbag!

Welcome back Ladies and Hosers, I bring a special edition of the Hosers giving guidance to the lost masses of the world. As many of you noticed, this past week's exhibition game saw a surprisingly involved turnout that consisted mostly of that inept and lost status of being known as the freshman. While I of course applaud those who made the choice of Hockey over Sox, I did notice some appeared to be a little on the lost side throughout the game. So for those who were unsure of how things work within the cold confines of Lake Whittemore, I am here to answer your queries. There are NO stupid questions to ask.....unless they are really really dumb ones.

Kara from Rochester, NH asks:
Dear Hosers,
It was my 1st game the other night, and I had a great time! But I wasn't sure exactly how I could go about taunting the opposition..Any suggestions?

Well Kara, It's completely understandable that you were confused, so I present to you a video version of taunting 101:


Hope that gives you an idea of how to taunt...If not just follow our lead next time. Onward to Brad from Concord:

Hosers:

I'm looking for a new start now that I'm at UNH. What are the benefits of joining the ranks of Hoser Nation?



Excellent question! There are many benefits for joining our motley crew. Aside from being the most respected and well traveled fans in College Hockey. Our unique 401K takes every dollar you add and forwards it to the Hoser Nation beer fund, it's not like your going to retire anytime soon once you join. Our popular health plan goes as follows: If you happen to have a slip and fall incident, become ill/hungover from too much drinking, or happen to bruise easy like Darci, we 100% guarantee that once we are sure you are not seriously injured, we will point and laugh at your misfortune. We also offer a wide array of perks such as: Boozeshare (senior personnel only), weekly fish shaped Canadian candy allowances, leftover baked confections, a Mainer-free environment, Push a BC Douchebag into a pile of cow dung day, weekly raffles for a chance to kick Bananas the Black Bear in the groin, and a complementary copy of "David Hasselhoff's Greatest Hits".



Finally we have Tara Dover:

Dear Hosers,
Are there any rules for bringing friends who happen to support oppsing schools to Lake Whittemore for games?

Well, we at Hoser Nation don't mind you bringing such friends to the arena....We just wont acknowledge them as a credible being worth listening to at any extent. But there are such exceptions and technicalities to the rules. MVU fans we don't encourage being in the section as it may be hazardous to the freshmen of UNH. Brokeback College bags of douche are too stuck up to even bother with. As far as the scum of the earth better know as Mainers......if you bring one to the section, expect to find your friend tied to the amtrak rails by the end of warmups...Zoo-Mass fans, are good for a nasty article in the local papers once and a while. To be honest, If you know a Merrimack fan, please bring them to our attention! Theres a better chance of seeing a live Dodo Bird than seeing a Merrimack fan who would publicly admit to being one...

That's all for now, see all you Hosers and Beancan U poodles at Comm Ave on Friday, until then as always,

Good day, Eh!
Rouge