"When you wear Red Sox on your shirt, you're good at something"
-David Ortiz
And so the new saga continues. Everyone in Hoser Nation was feeling particularly upbeat after the previous evening's stirring comeback victory over the Community College Tabby Tigers and we were all looking forward to game two of the latest chapter of East meets common fools from the west. But we in Hoser Nation were confronted with a conundrum that has become more common than how we should keep Mainers
in Maine (we are open to all suggestions on how to solve that one, common ideas have been giant electric fence, over sized moat, or just deceiving them into thinking all the cows in New Hampshire have migrated to Nova Scotia so they can go there to find a prom date that isn't a cousin)Game 2 of the weekend just happened to conflict with game 3 of the 2007 World Series which of course pitted America's team, The Boston Red Sox against the JV League Champ, Colorado Crockies. For most in Hoser Nation, the answer was academic, but for many in Durham it was much more of an issue. Would they choose a home hockey game against a ranked foe not commonly seen in these parts, or would they remain glued to TV's and watch America's team inch another step closer to claiming their 2nd title in 4 years?
Naturally, we gave those who were bound by Hoser Law absolutely no choice in this matter, it was hockey 1st, and then catch the rest of the game afterwards. Defiance of this decree would result in punishment by being locked in the stockades in Orono while dressed in a sheep costume.
Being it parent's weekend, there was a somewhat unusual crowd in the section. The new question to be considered was not if we were going to offend this crowd of families, but just how many were we going to offend to the point where they were no longer going to allow their child to attend UNH. I believe Doug may have guessed the highest without going above the actual number.
Now I could go with the usual game summary but considering the fact that America's team was also playing a team from Colorado the same the Good Guys in Blue were doing the same, I feel a top 10 list is in order. So I present to thee the top 10 reasons why the state of Colorado failed miserably against the combined power of Hoser and Red Sox Nation.
10. Rally towels AND Thunderstix...pfft real fans need not such objects to inspire victory
9. Nate "Prick" Prosser spent so much time taking regular cheapshots at Reemer and crying to the officials about how he stole his lunch money, that he missed out on trying to stop Captain Hobey from scoring.
8. Both the CRockies and Tabby Tigers received complementary t-shirts after they departed New England. The T-shirts read: "I went to New England, And all I got was badly humiliated and mocked on a large stage"
7. NH Native Paul Thompson earned himself his 1st collegiate goal. Colorado natives earned themselves another weekend of wishing John Elway would come back and save them.
6. The Hosers stole every ounce of Coors beverages in the greater Portsmouth area so that CC fans wouldn't get that taste of home while visiting Hoser Nation.....Sam's is better anyway
5. John Elway wouldn't even have been able to beat Mr. Foster this evening no matter what the hopeless and altitude sickened fools of Colorado may believe.
4. This time, Boston didn't lend Ray Bourque to CC or the CRockies in order for them to win games.
3. Prosser is still a flaming bag of douche
2. The CC Tabby Tigers and CRockies shared more than utter defeat at the hands of two of New England's finest. The Tabby Tigers GAA was just was as ridiculously high as the CRockies ERA (except for that one pitcher who had something like a 94.43 ERA)
And for the number one reason why Colorado really dislikes New England after this weekend.....to be continued....as if theres any doubt why.
Good day, Eh!
Rouge
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