Quote of the Week:"The shot wasn’t even that hard. It was a little muffin I put on that, but it found its way to the net.” - Jerry Pollastrone
This has certainly been one of those weekends where all those in Hoser Nation can truly look back upon, smile, and say "Hey, that was a good couple of days, and Maine still sucks." So much so that your friendly neighborhood bar-room hero will make this a 3 part mega epic.
And so this saga begins with a Friday night under the lights of Lake Whittemore. Fresh off Coach Umile's 400th career win over Beancan U, the Good Guys in Blue welcomed the Community College Tabby Tigers of Colorado Springs. Last season, New Hampshire ventured out into the Rocky Mountains and delivered a White Mountain beatdown on the Denver rejects. This time around, these sad fools thought that Lake Whittemore would be more kind to them...pfft must be the altitude sickness that went to their heads long ago.
1st period
It appeared that there was something of a "400 Win" hangover in effect as Community College somehow managed to sneak their way into a 2-0 lead. As is the way of Western Hockey, CC attempted to bait the Good Guys into penalty situations using chippy play, particularly from one Nate "Western Bag of Douche" Prosser....Unfortunately such play did result in alot of penalties. Down 2-0, the perpetual frosh, Mr. Butler continued his campaign to at least be promoted to Sophomore status in the eyes of Hoser Nation by making it a one goal game...Unfortunately CC got another tally so its back to a two goal lead.
Sidenote: If your going to ask Hosers to set up and care for a very large banner and also hand out free tech-wick t-shirts in the same night.....It's probably, sort've, definitely a good idea to make sure at least ONE Hoser actually get one of said T-shirts. Just throwing that out there so that no one has to endure punishment by catapult in the future.
2nd Period:
Down 3-1 when 15 seconds in, there he is, Hobey "Rock you like a Hurricane name Matt Fornataro" Fornataro brought everything back to within one. More chippy play from the Tabby Tigers, which could only delay the inevitable that was to come.
3rd Period:
OK. If there's one thing you have to like about how things have been thus far this year, is that 3rd periods are alot more fun. Still down but not out, the Good Guys in Blue needed something big. Mr. Pollastrone then unleashed onto the world the next greatest thing in the world since a Johnathan Papelbon "Slutter" pitch. The great muffin shot heard round the rink tied the game up. You think he's done? Hardly. Mr. Pollastrone floated yet another baked confection past the CC Sieve, leaving him feeling like he had just gotten bitch-slapped by Fred the Baker. Captain Hobey added the final tally to nail down yet another impressive come from behind win, but the story didn't end there. Clearly reeling from the shame of having lost the game after being buried in the Pollastrone Bakery of shots, rather than facing his conquerors, the CC Sieve scurried away with the rest of his defeated comrades to the locker rooms rather than pay respect to their hosts with the traditional postgame handshake.....Silly Western Superstition or not, they earned every boo they got as they left the ice with their tails between their legs and heads well up their asses.
And that's only game 1.
to be continued....What kind've childish hackery will CC resort to in game 2? Can the CRockies save their season? Will Captain Hoser make it to the Hoser Dome in a Sober state of mind? Will it be a blueberry muffin, chocolate chip muffin, or perhaps coffee cake muffin brand of goal that will do in the Tabby Tigers next time?
Good day, Eh!
Rouge
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