Frozen Four 09: Hosers crash the White House

Quote of the week:
"George, I will take a shit in front of this door just so you can accidentally step in it"
-Mr. Soup

Well ladies and Hosers, It's mid-April which means it's time for the annual Frozen Four pilgrimage for your heroes. This year Washington DC played host for the clumsy and borish ones. So let's give you the full recap of the goings on.

Wednesday: "Has anyone seen the Baltimore Colts?"
We were off from Manch-Vegas and arrived in Baltimore just after lunchtime. While the Godfather and Darci went straight to DC to catch up with others, yours truly, Jorge, and Mr. Soup ventured into Baltimore to enjoy a ball game. Unfortunately it involved witnessing the NY All Sta-roids. During the course of the game we noted several similarites between Camden Yards and a certain rink in North Andover (bear with me on this). Like the Volpe, a large portion of the people that attended the game, were not fans of the home team. Also like the Volpe, some of the more vocal home team fans, were barbaric to say the least. After an evening at a truly luxurious ballpark, we returned to our quarters to rest for another day of Jorge and Soup waiting for me to catch up to them as I struggle to carry luggage and hockey gear alike all through town.

Thursday: Beavers, BU fans named James and not Kevin, more Beaver, and has anyone seen BC anywhere?
After a long morning of dragging luggage and hockey equipment everywhere between Baltimore and DC, we rejoined our fellow hosers at the House that Ovechkin Built. Now as Hoser Tradition states, we always sit in an area more accurately described as the "Lodge". We are used to fine leather seats with plenty of leg room and the occassional fireplace when needed. However on this occassion, yours truly was regulated to.....a folding chair...with one arm rest. Game One consited of the Miami not of Florida DodoHawks and of course the Beavers. Really though, aside from seeing a grown man run around in a Beaver suit that looked more like Goldy, it was something of a snoozer. Game 2 aside from the fact it involved the Cat-A-Frauds who were fresh off their hall-pass of a regional win, was a true thriller. In the end, Beancan U left the arena with the win and one particularly beligerently drunk fan named James, and MVU left for the Elephant exhibit at the Smithsonian to plan for next years frosh class.

Friday: Skills competition and the Poster's Game....I had the best moves in both events of course ;-) And don't forget "Inappropriate Touching Friday" AKA Darci's ass is gonna be bruised the next morning

While the Hosers trekked throughout the monuments in the capital, yours truly was preparing to give all the USCHO a true treat. That's right ladies and Hosers, was going to lace up the skates and make my rookie appearance in the annual USCHO Posters Game. Unfortunately for me, some guy named "Rogue" stole the show with some dazzling moves and superb skating. Can't hate the guy though, he is a damn good looking man. Later that evening, we made our annual appearance at the Skills Competition. Last season we saw records set in the category of fastest recorded slap shot...This year we saw a record number of botched or otherwise unimpressive moves. The moral of this story..when you look to guys named Orpik or Bradford to make impressive moves, your probably going to be more disappointed than someone thinking that going to Maine will get you ahead in life.

Saturday: Beancan U steals the show and now we wait till October
In the spirit of the epic and heartstopping games that have occurred throughout the postseason thus far, it only seemed fitting that the title game be the biggest shocker of them all. Down 3-1 in the third period to Miami not of Florida, Beancan U pulled off a blockbusting 2 goal outburst in the final minute. The epic drama was enough to create a true bromance moment between Jorge, Soup and a pair of elated BU fans. Come OT and after Soup and Jorge exchanged numbers with those BU fans, Beancan U took their place at the top of mountain one last time. Congrats to Beancan U and all our friends who while misguided in their support of BU, were as always great for that final postgame gathering at the bar.

And so another tale in the Epic of the Hosers came to an end, and we raise a glass to the hopes for the Good Guys in Blue come october.

On a more serious note, while the Good Guys in Blue will obviously be back and ready to go next season, and certainly the Hosers and Friends will be there every step of the way, I'm sorry to say that I will not be among them come next season with very few possible exceptions. This was not by any stretch of the imagination an easy choice nor one made on the spur of a moment, but I do think it's the best choice everyone involved.

I don't like Goodbyes, and I don't think it's entirely necessary since I'll be tempted to make an appearance here and there, so I'll just say thank you from the bottom of my slightly broken heart to the Hosers and anyone else bunched into our group, whom are the best hockey fans at all levels of play, and are some of the best people that I have ever met. Thank you all for 6 of the best years of my life.

Good day, Eh!
Rouge