More Havoc than a messed up Election, the Hosers Invade the Sunshine State!

Yes, ladies and Hosers, we are at T-Minus 5 days until we set out on our single most epic journey in recent memory. We shall trek down the Eastern Seaboard and stake our claim on the State of Florida! And no, Mickey Mouse will have no hand in our misadventures.

Not since our now world famous journey to SLU(T) and UVM has such a grand venture been plotted by those in Hoser Nation. And since I have not updated ye olde scriptures in some time, I think it would be a good idea to highlight some of the regions that will be graced with our presence that normally do not warrant such an honor.

Conneticut: While we did grace YYAAALLLLEEE last season, it is still a rare occurrence that any Hoser has a reason to trek to the state that the rest of New England is willing to trade to NY for a few conditional draft picks and some bagels. The last time we traveled through Conneticut, it was said to be the best thing to happen to the state of Conneticut since the Hartford Whalers....So we've been pretty much the best thing to happen to Conneticut, ever.

New York: We wll trek through true New England enemy territory here. The vast majority of those found here are a species that rivals the BC Douche Bag in arrogance and deranged mentality: Yankees Fans. In a twist of irony, Yankees 3rd baseman, Alex Rodriguez has become something of a regular at the Chestnut Hill Campus. He is often found here in October to watch the Major League Playoffs so he can at least see what Playoffs beyond the AlCS is really like and so he can drown all those postseason sorrows in a sea of wine coolers while many of the male population in the BC faithful fight over who gets to be his cuddle buddy later that night.

The Carolinas: If they think they've been through the worst hurricanes nature has had to offer; they haven't seen nothing yet until they feel the wrath of Hurricane Hoser. While they may have recently had a taste of the ultimate glory Hockey can offer, keep in mind that they accomplished this with the Hartford Whalers leftovers. Hoser psychologists have also predicted that it is here that we shall finally lose our minds after being a car longer than what is probably considered healthy. They also predict that somewhere in the Charlotte area, one of us will wind up being strapped to the roof of one of our vehicles, and another will be dragged behind the other while on a unicycle. My money is on the combination of me being on the Unicycle, and our Queen being on the roof.

Georgia: If we end up anywhere near Atlanta I will be sorely tempted to find Ted Turner, and kick him in the nuts for coming up with the stupid idea of putting Hockey in Atlanta. I dont care how much of that city he owns, the Thrashers should just pack for Winnipeg if the Penguins ultimately dont.

Final Stop: Florida: I hope by the time we get here, Walt Disney will be rolling over in his grave at the thought of us being in this state. And I cannot guarantee that Grandpa Hoser wont try to trap and then barbeque Mickey Mouse if we happen to run out of food before we arrive in Estero. I do fully expected a ticker tape parade for us upon our arrival, cause lets face it, with the unsavory and otherwise hapless likes of Cornell, Western Michigan, and of course the Mainers, the Florida residents and tourists alike will be begging us to save them from these pitiful beings (especially the Mainers).

Well its time for me to return to packing and eluding those UVM puck bunnies and their mistletoe. Personally, I feel with a face like mine, the mistletoe is just a formality. Hope you all got your Christmas shopping, or plan to at least hip check anyone who looks like a Mainer during the course of your last minute shopping. See you Tuesday and as always

Good Day, eh!
Rouge