Gib: Yeah, Darci's is bigger than mine
Us: really?
Darci: yeah, but Gib paid more for his than I did for mine
(made in reference to Camera accessories)
When we last left our heroes, Grandpa Hoser had just defeated an Alligator in a hand to hand combat match that made anything UFC has done look like a typical sissy fight at Chestnut Hill's Brokeback College, the Good Guys in Blue suffered there 1st defeat since October, Maine still sucks, and Smokey McHoser named Ric Flair his running mate in his upcoming election! Oh the drama!!!
Twas our last day enjoying the Florida sunshine and we wanted to make sure it was a complete victory for everyone. But the day started with us leaving Hoser Tower South much to the dismay of all the guests who said our presence was the closest thing to a relig
ious awakening they have ever had. After trekking several thousand miles on foot so that all those who could not get across the bridge to the island so they could throw rose pettles at our feet as we left the island could get one last glimpse of our greatness. Captain Hoser then gave us all the single most intricate lesson in vehicle packing efficiency we would ever have.....Of course her majesty napped throughout the course of this until the photo ops came about again of course. We then set out to complete our last few pieces of Business on our to do-list for this trip-Remind Maine that they suck
-Continue to win the hearts and minds of our FLA based fellow UNH'ers
-Watch the Good Guys beat WMU
-Give our best wishes to the Cornell Faithful in beating the Mainers
-Kill a few Zombies
-Watch Erinn slap the last remaining tooth out of the mouth of that hideous Mainer she-beast
-Leave to a Standing ovation
Alot to do, not alot of time to do it. We all congregated in a viewing room between two of the smaller rinks at the complex. Meanwhile Smokey McHoser attempted to further advertise his upcoming campaign by engaging in what will forever be known as the most one-sided game of Marco-Polo ever to be played. He did eventually locate the rest of us and we made our way back over to the main rink to claim our territory.
Once again we were the darlings of the rink again, as the sound guy played our requests without fail and the UNH Alums in attendance reveled in our greatness. It was pretty clear from the start, the Good Guys in Blue, were not going to mess around with these dead mules from WMU. They were pissed, and these sad soles were going to take the brunt of a beating. So naturally the 1st to initiate the assault was none other than Matt "France surrendered to me 20 years ago" Fornataro when he struck down WMU in one fell swipe. Mr. Radja, who was playing hurt, followed in suit. El Capitano of El Penalty Box-o also added a tally. Just for good measure, Mr. Hemmingway added some more to further prove the point the UNH's offense was awake, and pissed. But just when WMU thought things couldnt get worse...One of those sad fools dared to make eye contact with his Hobey-ness..Another goal was scored, and 5 WMU Mules were lost in rip in space and time created by Hobey Fornataro.We then gave Estero a late Christmas present, and sang a rare duet with some of the Cornell faithful. Their single trombone was of course, 20x better than our entire pepband, so this album is sure to go Gold at least 3 times over. As you could imagine, we Hosers were feeling pretty good at this point, then things got better, when from out of exile and the very back of everyone's minds...Kirk Manke saw his 1st collegiate action!!! 2 WMU goals later, we kinda wondered if it was such a good idea to bring him out of exile.
Regardless, the Good Guys in Blue left Estero with a win and we
left to the sound of a standing ovation, the pleasant music of my personal favorite hit "M-A-I-N-E, MAINE SUCKS!", and the sound of that absolutely fugly and mentally impaired Mainer She-beast being slapped by Erinn, and then devoured by the gator again....Also of note, as this photo shows, Grandpa Hoser proved to us all, that even the most ancient of Hosers can in fact tricycle on ice.Now came another horrendously long drive back to NH. Not even half way out of Florida, the driving had taken a toll on Erinn and Matt, as they lost their minds to Road Madness...Then they found them again, only to lose them some more in delirious babling that not even I, nor Captain Hoser could even translate. Most of the Southern States were pretty much a blur, but the Hoser of State had a score to settle with the Jersey Turnpike, armed with nothing more than his nerves of steel, a Rush mixtape, a liter of Cola, and GPS, he was ready for war....And got smooth sailing the whole way through Jersey. Gib 2 NJ 1....Here we split up and went separate ways to complete missions. The vehicle I occupied chosse to tackle driving through parts of NYC, which we did with no problem, we even had time for me to make a stop at Yankee Stadium, so I could mark our territory the old fashioned way on the plaque of Babe Ruth, and in George Steinbrenner's office.
We all arrived back home in beautiful New Hampshire with time to nap and see the ball drop on 2006. And so ends our most recent epic, and I thank all the Hosers who took part in this journey that made it truly kick ass. I hope you all are rested up, we go back to work this weekend when we tease the goofy stoners of UVM by waving a bag of chips at them while being just out of reach. Until next time hosers, as always,
Good Day, eh!
Rouge
More Sympathies and best wishes to Nick and Erinn's family
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