The most terrifying thing to happen to Boston since Light Bright Mooninites. The Hosers take on Badmouth U!

Quote of the Week:

"I think I threwup in the Cowbell!" -Matt

So it begins again Ladies and Hosers, the foul mouthed beanpot obessed fools from Comm Ave are next up on the schedule for the Good Guys in Blue. While the small toy dogs of Boston continued to bask in the glory of their meaningless victory in the annual Beancan Tourney, we here in the real world, Hoser Nations continued to have the bigger picture in mind. After 2 weeks worth of toying with Doormat Merrimack and hunting Black Bear scum for the benefit of humanity, the Good Guys in Blue had an opportunity to take that 1st step toward our ultimate goal. Game one took place in our beloved Hoser-Dome. Traditionally, there could rarely ever be a bad night in Hoser Nation...This evening was something of an exception. It began with her majesty being victimized by a clear sabotage effort against her royal mode of transportation. It then proceded with the Godfather, OT Hoser, and even noble Grandpa Hoser being delayed by traffic sabotages. Then it got worse when someone clearly tampered with the Zamboni blades on my usually trusty ice resurfacer and it resulted in me being injured by said incredibly sharp blades (of course I didn't exactly help myself what with my habit of ignoring the large warning label that said "sharp" on the blade). But of course, being the resourceful an resiliant folk we are, Momma Hoser endured the transport setback, I cleaned up the wounds and fixed the blade, and the other Hosers got through the traffic unscathed. Still the omens weren't so good.

Donning a classy new set of threads, the Good Guys in Blue seemed primed and ready to battle the Beancan Chumps. They started out strong with Mr. Radja continuing his mastery of forcing goalies into suicidal depression. The first period was a very strong effort....The second was not so much of one. The miniature yipping dogs managed to take a strong lead into the 3rd. Meanwhile in Hanover, while watching the potential 1st sieve of Hoser Nation, Smokey McHoser took a few steps back in his rehab by raiding the Dartmouth concessions stand in a manner that would make Jack Sparrow jealous. Except he plundered the Nicodogs instead of rum and gold.

Back in Durham, the mayor refused to let the Good Guys in Blue go down without a fight as he cut the lead to 3-2. Unfortunately, a certain BUnion of an official wasn't going to allow our team a chance to win without enduring some of his classic shortsighted-ness. The final was an unfortunate 4-2 defeat. While certain neanderthals around us were grunting and roaring as if their cave neighbor Grogg stole their plans for inventing a square wheel, we Hosers merely looked forward to the next game. But of course, we werent going to allow the BU faithful out of the Hoser-Dome without some retribution. Herr Godfather proceded to chase and terrify the easily spook-able fools all across Durham with his trusty "Light Bright of Mass Panic and Stupidity"! The scared Bostonians dove into the nearest bombshelter.....Unfortunately for them, we had Maggie Joyce waiting for them.....No Survivors of course.

Saturday evening we made our way to the ahhhhhh Harry aaaaaAgganis Aaaaaarena (for real this time) to bask in the high definition glory that is the Dick Umile Scoreboard. It is rather upsetting that such a magnificent piece of technology that bares the name of such a noble friend to all Hosers has to hang above a sheet of ice named for a modern day botched Zombie Voodoo Spell of a coach. On to the game. The BU faithful finally became the 1st group in Hockey East outside of Hoser Nation to bow down to the power of Matt "Im the only person to win every single Grammy Award in every category, even elevator music" Fornataro. They chanted his name all night while under his hypnotic powers, he also made them pat their heads and rub their stomachs for our amusement. Things started out just fine as the Mayor struck twice (meanwhile in Orono, the Mainers continue to accuse herr Mayor of outlandish crimes). Mr. Kapstad then earned a small amount of redemption from the previous evening's game by making it 3-0. The remainder of the game would not be so kind. Mr. Regan, who has been nothing short of spectacular and Nobel Prize worthy, but tonight, he seemed to have an extremely rare off night. The toy poodles managed to worm their way back into the game and send it into overtime. In the OT, the Good Guys in blue did everything short of launching a scud missle at them in order to take the game. But it was not to be this evening, as we left with a mere 3-3 tie. But all was not lost, as once again the Godfather played on their feeble minds and taped up more light brights at every exit at the Agganis. They have still not found an alternate way out of the building. Mooninites 2, Boston -1.

Congratulations are in order for our Women of the Whitt as they once again claimed another regular season title this past sunday. Also of note is Maggie Joyce set an all new record by only having 50 being slaughtered at her hand in the process of clinching that regular season title.

Break out those dancing shoes again this weekend Hosers, as the Good Guys in Blue will once again entertain Proviced on the ice, and we will be entertaining the rest of the masses with the 1st annual "Hoser Nation Provi-Dance Off!" But before I sign off for now, its an obvious fact that since our inception, there have been countless requests for Hoser Nation to step into creating some authentic Hoser Merchandise. While we all know there will come a day when there will "Official Hoser Nation Kazoos" and of course our own line of Hockey Skates ( The RBK Rouge5 is in production as we speak), we will even have something for our dearly dumb and delusional friends in Orono. I leave with a preview of one the 1st items that might be offered when the Hoser Nation Store opens up! Until next time as always,

Good Day, eh!

Rouge