Muck Faine: The War Goes On Part I

Quote of the Week:
"Every blind nut gets a squirrel once and a while"
-Darci

Ladies and Hosers, this is always the weekend we have circled in red on our schedules every year. Nothing is held back on this weekned. On the ice, it is nothing short of a war. Every shot, check, and save is 20x bigger, and 50x more important

This is UNH vs Maine, and it was finally here again

Game 1: Upon my arrival in old Manch-Vegas I was nearly choked to death by an entirely deathly unpleasant aroma. Thats when I looked across Elm St and saw a large herd of Mainers that seemed to be using this weekend to triple as their family reuinion/singles hookup party. But thankfully the UNH faithful were out in full force as well. Hoser Nation welcomed Wildcat fans from across the US as well as the World! They came from Detroit, Vancouver, and even as far as the U.K!

I would also like to take this moment to commend the Usher of the Verizon who unlike certain of his fellow employees, not only allowed the Hosers to create a legitimate student section by making it general admission, he also promoted it to all that entered it!

So the battle began once again. Just around the midpoint of the 1st, Matt "Black Bear Slayer" Fornataro drew 1st blood. Just seconds after the goal, he was awarded with yet another Humanitarian Award for his ongoing research to cure death. Also of note, Ben Bishop was awarded yet another reason why he's about as useful as Keith Johnson's alibi of "I had no idea this elementary school had girls under 18!". The Mainers did manage to tie the game up before the period was out though which reportedly temporarily curved the escalating suicide rate in Orono.

In the second period Mr. Collins continued to make a stong effort to earn the use his actual 1st name rather than "Not Sean" by giving the Good Guys in Blue the 2-1 edge. Unfortunately, he could not do anything about the appauling stench of incest and beastiality that was the result of the large crowd of Mainer failures in attendance.

So we entered the 3rd period, and by we, I unfortunately mean the Hosers and not so much the Good Guys in Blue. Dave Hansen of course saw his opportunity to steal the show with one of the suckier performances sine the 2004 NY Yankees. The Mainers caught on to both of these factors faster than Bishop catching Hoof and Mouth disease from high school sweethart/half sister/plow mule. They managed to strike 3 times in the 3rd period and claim a 4-2 win in this so-called "home" game. Meanwhile in Orono, the Mainer faithful were so releived they decided not to make a human sacrifice out of Banannas in attempt to change their fortunes, but of course he still was made into a cheap rug before the night was out when President elect Smokey McHoser enlisted the help of Jack Bauer.

Maine had game one but their reward might as well have been a death sentence. They won themselves a trip to Durham and a night in the asylum better know as the Hoser-Dome with a mob of angry Hosers and Maggie Joyce waiting for them. Next time: Will the Mainers relize the error of their ways, Will Ben Bishop learn he in fact carries the only heir to Barbarro's legacy? Will the Hoser's top secret plot to secure the gates of the Hoser Dome succeed? Exactly how many Children do the Mothers and Fathers of Strafford expect Momma Hoser to raise for them? Will Erinn and Nick find the Arc of the Covenant in time? Until then as always,

Good Day, eh!
Rouge