Playoff Mail Call!

It's official ladies and Hosers, the Hockey East Semifinals have been set for this coming weekend, and it goes a little something like this:

#1 UNH vs #4 ZooMass
#2 Brokeback Coll vs # Badmouth Univ (that school OT Hoser allowed to let her presence be felt at)

Of course we are still enjoying how the Good Guys in Blue easily dispatched Proviced and how the Mainers were sent packing, but now its time to refocus on the task at hand..Hosers, this is just a sample of the kind of moronic and classless neanderthals we will be up against this weekend. For now, here's some mail from some of the masses that have come to adore us, stalk us, and continue to be mortally confused by our tales of interest, intrigue, and randomness.

Molly from Portland ME, writes;
Dear Hosers,

Considering all of the contributions you all have made to the UNH community, have you gotten any sort of recognition and or rewards yet?

Molly, the great UNH community has indeed shown their love of the Hosers as of late. The Whitt is planning as we speak to have our seats not just bronzed, but to have our entire row dipped in solid 25k gold! In a stunning reversal, UNH Housing has decided to not only rename the mini dorms in honor of the Hosers that graced it, but as you can see below, to also rennovate them into a living quarters that would make Tuscan Villas look like Orono trailer parks (The Raimondi, Pedone, and Patel Villas are set to open in the Fall!). Say goodbye to Dimond Library and say hello to the Wilder Library! Complete with easy chairs that have been tested and proven to NOT engulf or entrap students no matter how specialed they may be. The ever popular Memorial Union Building or MUB will be re-dubbed the Gibney Union Building or GUB. Now, dont worry Hosers, I have been given my own little honor. As you can see below, the construction of a whole new academic building and new college has begun which I will serve as president over. We are now accepting applications to Prime Minister Rouge's School of Hoser-ology! Among my esteemed professors will be Maggie Joyce, the Professor of PAIN! and President McHoser will serve as a professor of Hoser Philosophy, heres an example of one of his teachings!
Hosers > The rest of Humanity.

Onward we go to Cliff from Syracuse, NY
Hey, Hosers
Have you guys filled out your March Madness Brackets yet? I could use some advice

Cliff, As long as you got Matt "Mel Gibson is stalking me" Fornataro going all the way, you are all set.

To wrap it up, we have Earl from....ugghh Orono, ME
Help Hosers!
Im desperate! I just don't no wat to do or think of my team wat has happened this past season! Pleezzee help meh!!

Earl, first off, way to use that 1st grade spelling lesson you may have taken. Second, put down the gun/knife/razor/sleeping pills/noose/ or whatever else you and your fellow Mainers are putting to use lately and listen. No matter what you and those other delusional inbreds in Orono may be saying, It was NOT the Mayor's fault that your genetic failure of a sieve hurt himself and then hurt himself again by coming back too soon. Many great minds have proven this to be true. It MIGHT be Timmays fault that they pretty much tanked it since the Good Guys in Blue castrated your team and fans in your own barn. But in conclusion Earl, and remember this above all else: It IS ALL YOUR OWN FAULT that you were born and raised in Maine, continued to dwell in Maine, and then chosse to support a team of sexually deviant, animal assaulting, inbred, and pedophile sheltering failures. So you see Earl, you were in fact doomed from the very start, so you can go ahead and pick up whatever object you had at the ready before I addressed you and carry on with your original plan, but be sure to sell those Hockey East Semi-Final tickets to someone who will actually use them and deservedly so (AKA UNH fans).

Thats all for now ladies and Hosers, be sure to stop by the Fours on friday just before the Good Guys in Blue take on those Neanderthals from ZooMass. The Hosers and friends will be on hand to accept free drinks, sign autographs, and like always, making the world a brighter place! Also be on the lookout as Durham Rockstars Stonewall O'Sullivan and Roboshark Yacobson will be making appearances around the rink as well (but the Bos doesnt sign autographs to just anyone).Oh yes, and word just reached my desk that our beloved Queen was formally accepted into Graduate School, in the words of my ancestors, that would make her "wicked smahhttt!!" Until friday as always,

Good day, Eh!

Rouge