Thanksgiving in Hoser Nation

Not exactly the quote of the week, but there's few things more amusing than the misery of Mainers

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, hope your holiday has been restful, filled with plenty of food, and the traditional during football naps

As Hosers we have so much to be thankful for, our fellow hosers, friends, family, not being mainers, hockey, the list goes on. But one thing we often neglect to give thanks for are those exceptional beings that set the standards in showing us how NOT to go about our daily lives or how to be a team player in the College Hockey ranks. These individuals are true turkeys worth mentioning on this great American holiday and so I introduce the 1st Hoser Nation True Thanksgiving Turkeys

Nathan Gerbe-Brokeback College

The Gerbe-baby already has a reputation for being a pint sized hack, but lately this year it seems he's been stepping up his chippy play. After several other noted incidents in the past and more recently, Hockey East Dick-tator Joe Bertagna suspended the Gerbe Baby for one game for an alleged "butt ending" incident vs Merri-mat. We feel that Bertagna may have misinterpreted his actions. While with other men's teams, butt ending would be a penalty, but with Brokeback College, butt ending an opponent is considered foreplay.

Tanner House- Mainers

The latest piece of black bear trash to have run ins with the law. This pathetic soul was charged with unlawful sexual touching and assault when he grabbed a woman's breast at some club in Orono. Though it's probable that he was too drunk to realize that it was a woman at some club he was trying to get frisky with rather than that new horse down at the stable he's had his eye on......Since when are there "clubs" in Orono anyway?

Brett "Everyone knows his" Motherwell

Your team is struggling right out of the gate, you should step up your play and do what you can to bring your teammates up as well, right? Nah, go break a few team rules and get yourself suspended from action for a while. Now, your team continues to struggle and you've got some important games coming up, a good teammate would talk to the coach and team, admit your wrongdoings, and dedicate yourself to redeeming yourself and get the entire season back on track right? Why do that when you can jump off the sinking ship, head for the AHL, and say screw you to school....Way to go Brett Motherwell

Ben Bitch-op- Mainers

Ohhh Benjamin, you worthless over-sized sieve, like there wasn't a chance you weren't going to end up here after you and the rest of the Scum of the Earth got themselves swept for the second weekend in a row...To Merri-Mat of all teams. Oh and the fact you got yourself hurt..again doesn't help either, but then again, helping your team hasn't been your strength lately hasn't it? It was all Smith's fault again wasn't it?

Blaise-d MacDonald-Low-ell

Considering he got busted for DUI after the River-Pigeon program was sparred from extinction, I wonder how shitfaced this wee-person was when he found out they were considering dropping hockey. Seriously though, you're a midget who coach's a hockey program that nearly got dropped that resides in Lowell, getting drunk off a bottle cap worth of vodka is not a good way to create a positive image.

That's all for today, see you Saturday, Have a great rest of Thanksgiving and a pleasant Thursday for all those in Canada and other countries, and as always,

Good day, Eh!

Rouge

(PS. If you clicked on the link, consider yourself the latest to be Rick Roll'd)