Quote of the week:
While Walking by a store with lingerie mannequins in the window
Rob: Hey There!
Jeff: Rob, they are plastic
Rob: Hey, that's not gonna stop me from drilling it home!
Well, ladies and Hosers, there are some nights that completely go your way, and there are others that are about as useless as a UMaine diploma (unless your going to wipe your ass with it, only real good use for that). Saturday evening, one of those bad nights reared it's fugly head, and it resulted in the Good Guys in Blue, having not such a good night vs the NH college that everyone forgets better known as Dartmouth. Lets get into some of the sights and sounds of it from the start.
-1st bad omen of the night: This is not the 1st time something like this has happened before, but USCHO Hockey East corespondent and Senior Writer Scott Weighart wrote the weekly column for the upcoming weekend in Hockey East. While normally these weekly posts are well done, this week's was a travesty and shameful act of defiance. With one obvious misuse of a certain goalie's name, Mr. Weighart gave us Brain Regan instead of Kevin Regan. In a futile act of contrition on his part, Mr. Weighart attempted to make amends to the Durham faithful by posting that UNH would win 22-1 in the Riverstone game(see here)......Well Mr.Weighart, I really have to ask...How stupid do you feel now? He has been declared a heretic in the court of Hoser Law, and his punishment shall be banishment into the deepest and darkest regions of Orono, while wearing a horse costume soiled in manure (aka Orono aphrodisiac).....That should keep him from making such errors again
-Meanwhile back at Lake Whittemore, the Women of the Whitt took on their goonish foes Proviced. But something far greater took place during this contest. Forget the Indy 500, forget Daytona, and hell, screw the Paris to Dakar rally, we now have The Great Lake Whittemore Chase to the Bench! This epic contest of athletic skill, intelligence, and pure courage pitted Proviced coach Bob Deraney and the official Mick Jagger stunt double better known as Gangsta Hoser. We have obtained footage of this epic marathon between two tremendous athletes, and it just doesn't get any more courageous than this:
Meanwhile in Proviced, OT Hoser and Grandpa Hoser found themselves the only bright light of hope among the sad and the sorry of the Coffin, and they encountered a truly sad and disturbed child. This poor mentally deprived child had this to say to a PC fan:
Young Maine fan to young PC fan: "UNH sucks."
PC fan to Maine fan: "Their better than Maine."
Maine fan to PC fan: "That doesn't take much, we're in last place."
Incredible, truly incredible. Some psychiatrists would diagnose this child as an obvious victim of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Some would think he could be a future sociopath, we here at Hoser Nation just sit back laugh and say "Uh Oh! He's from Maine!"
Back in Manch-Vegas, Hoser Nation had to endure the presence of not just one, but an entire team worth of little children who have probably been up for adoption every other year. While we Hosers are never one to mock children, as we are all respectable adults and are classier than that...Too bad those kid's parents didn't bother to teach them what class is...They were also clueless enough to not even remind them that their team name is spelled DARTMOUTH rather than DARTMOTH. While some went on a desperate search for Chris Benoit and his expertise in such parenting matters, the rest of us just couldn't help but snicker a little...We didn't have the heart to tell them that the Barney they hired for their next birthday party was in fact Keith Johnson.
Scott Weighart....You still suck.
Doc Hoser was right, we got more shots on goal than Dartmouth has real fans.
Another Riverstone game, another year with no appearance by Keggy....Sigh, however, in honor of the celebration and spiritual rejoicing in Smokey McHoser's day of birth, Dartmouth did send their best concessions customer a birthday cake made entirely of Nicco-dogs...Word is, Smokey is now considering becoming a genetic engineer so he can create Nicco-dog flavored smokes as well.
That's all for now ladies and Hosers, plug in those light brights and beware of Tigers not named Radja, cause Beancan U is next up on the docket. Goodnight Canada, and as always,
Good day, Eh!
Rouge
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