No Class? You must be in the Mass Attack!

Quote of the week:
"SCOREBOARD!"
-Um-ass fans to Hoser Nation representitives in attendance at the Dullards Center in Waaamherst....It was 3-2 UNH at this point in the game



Well Ladies and Hosers, as the saying goes, "Never underestimate stupid people in large numbers", and Um-ass fans certainly proved that their large number of moronic and mindlessly vulgar "fans" can in fact take stupidity to new levels! Lets recap a few of the bright and shiny moments of our weekend of our weekend with the "less than a" minutemen.



-While I was unable to make the journey to Waaamherst Friday night (I did watch on NESN), several Hoser Nation representatives did make the trek and had another evening of amusement at the expense of the Empty-headed Um-ass student body and fan base. One of the more bewildering moments of the evening occurred early in the game, and it was so blatantly idiotic and shameless, I even noticed it on television. While we all know the Um-ass fanbase and arena in general is completely devoid of any real soul or identity, Um-ass took it one step further by ripping off one of Brokeback College's moronic PK chant....And then butchered BU's rendition of "The Wheels on your House". Seriously Um-ass, everyone (even the Mainers) know you have no real identity at all, but if your going to rip off stuff, get it right, and pick something that might actually demonstrate intelligence.

To further demonstrate this clear gap in intelligence between the common Waaamherst Masshole, and the great NH Hoser, I provide you with these narratives. This is how a true blue Hoser is viewed...

And here we have how a common Masshole behaves





-Radja and Reemer certainly welcomed themselves back into Hockey East in an appropriate and game winning manner.


-I fully realize there's a greater chance of Mainers being awarded something for "Outstanding Citizenship" than an Um-ass fan showing real intelligence within an arena, but whatever.


-Speaking of the Mainers, it seems they are trying to take their current position in the Hockey East standings in stride..I imagine its kinda hard to do that when that last known living and admitted Merrimack fan has bragging rights on them now.



-Hoser Nation detectives recently uncovered the truth as to what exactly Hobey Fornataro said to HE Official Tim "He Sucks, He blows, say hello to" Benedetto. Sources indicate, that his Hobey-ness said something so mind blowing and reality altering, that Benedetto gave him the ridiculous infraction so that he could continue to live in other denial despite this Earth shattering revelation. Repeating it here, would only cause non-Hosers to go into seizures.



You know who else was in seizures (no not that NU goalie), the Um-Ass powerplay, the entire weekend. Mr. Regan denied them more times than a typical Um-Ass student gets rejected from every other school in Massachusetts (yes, even Lowell).



-NESN needs to get better Hockey Commentators, I submit to you this list of people they should consider for their new coverage team:

1. Robbie Barker-He already proved himself on NESN once before

2. Don Cherry- America needs more Grapes

3. Barry Melrose

4. Godfather Hoser- Why not?

5. Smokey-Like it wouldn't be a ratings grabber guaranteed to get the FCC's attention

6. Dick Osbourne (just promise him it isn't a sting)

If they can't do that, they should at least send Tina Cervasio to every UNH game.

After the game, unfortunately it seemed that another episode of monstrous traffic on the route back to civilization slowed the Hoser Nation contingent. Despite all best efforts, we were unable to have the Hoser-Copter, Air Tuque 1, or even the mighty Hinden-Hoser ready in time to assist the Hoser Express......Not that the Queen noticed as she once again was "post-game comatose".



On to Saturday.

All in Hoser Nation are certainly looking forward to Lake Whittemore crowds returning to normal come next week. I'm sure we've taught enough families and their children the meaning of terms like Sex, orgy, and Benedetto is a tool. Though these children should consider themselves fortunate, not too many people can honestly say they learned about Hockey, the Hoser-ism religion, and have an interpretive dance lesson all in one evening!

-It's official, before going to bed at night, Um-assers check their closet and under their bed for JVR, unfortunately for them, Maggie Joyce is there instead.

-In other related news, Um-Ass "fans" now have competition in the race for the famed "No Class Horse's Ass" Award. That 14 year old NH girl left the Indianapolis Dolts game as the only real winner in a stadium full of losers.

-After much deliberation, careful thought, and years worth of research, it is still completely impossible for even Momma Hoser to teach UM-Ass fans (not that she'd lower herself to that), even if she used a tire-iron as a teaching aid.

-Unfortunately for Um-Ass, the good guys in blue would not be performing an encore of their recent bout with SLU(t). Instead, we at Hoser Nation send them this message in honor of their defeat at the hands of the Hosers

The finals for the weekend, 3-2, and 5-3...All wins for the good guys, a very good weekend to get back on track in the never ending battle to stamp out indecent Mainer-esque behavior in the East.

That's all for now Hosers, see you in Manch-Vegas this weekend for the Riverstone game vs the Hanover, NH Learning Annex...Will Keggy finally make his Hoser Nation debut this time?!?!? Until then, Goodnight Canada, and as always,

Good day, Eh!
Rouge