"That was my 1st dive ever-Gerbe
Jesuits shouldn't lie!"
Yes Ladies and Hosers, the Good Guys in Blue took that all important 1st step by sealing their second consecutive (7th Overall) regular season championship by beating down the Silver-Spoon Suckers from Newton like a Metrosexual at a biker bar in Laconia. Here we go with the recap of your hero's latest adventures in crossing paths with douchebags.Friday @ Club Conte
-Club Conte is known for it's never ending techno music, the loss-dodging fog, and high prevalence of common BC Douchebaggery by their greasy-haired fanbase. However, the techno music was limited this time around, as your heroes heard more of Linkin Park, Disturbed, and Metallica than their traditional rave music. It appears BC has become more sullen and dark as of late and have thus become more Emo. Scholars have dubbed this change in BC's behavior as "The Abdelkader Effect"
-"Ya well your 35 and at a hockey game!"-Random chick to the Godfather. It should also be noted, that this particular individual and her two friends decided it would be a good idea to constantly migrate from the seat to seat and do so by walking in front of us...That's strategy for ya. Also, it was noted that while the two females that took part in this constant movement were obviously devoid of any real intelligence, they were quite attractive. However, the male in this trio not only looked like the kid caddy from Happy Gilmore (as pointed out by Godfather Hoser), but he was your typical BC male..A complete tool. In light of this, I feel the need to re-issue this PSA to further the importance of people being smart about not associating themselves with such BC failures.
-At most Jesuit universities, they preach that Jesus saves..Unfortunately for BC, John Boy Muse couldn't stop that blast from the point by Mr. Flashains, meanwhile Mr. Regan saved all thrown his way.
-Dear BC, your campus is NOT in Boston, It is in Newton. STOP RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD DROPKICK MURPHY'S SONG WITH YOUR LIES ABOUT YOUR GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION IN THE WORLD!
-Apparently now you can text message a cheer to be shown on the video screen at Club Conte, here's a couple of samples: "Kevin Regan Rules" and my personal favorite "GO BC DIVING!"
And now, for the Jaromir Jacobson Moment of Wisdom for the Week:
"My buddy lives down in Florida, and the other day he took his daughter to go swimming at the beach. It was about 80 degrees. You just can't do that up here in February cause she'll die. In Florida it's cute and fun. Up here, it's murder, then you end up in jail and become someone's bitch."
Saturday @ Lake Whittemore
-Unfortunately, Lake Whittemore found itself polluted with the grease and stench of wine cooler that are the BC Superfrauds. I think Darci said it best: "Who the hell thought a urine colored t-shirt was a good idea?"
-I would like to take this opportunity to stump for the newly christened "FREE SMOKEY FOUNDATION". It has come to my attention that UNH wants to do away with the smoking doors thus not allowing patrons to re-enter the building after going outside for a smoke. I ask UNH to consider the following while making this decision. The only people that might be bothered by these doors, are the visiting fans who are stationed in that area, and most of them just don't count as real people anyway. And, do you really want to have Smokey go into a nicotine craving fit as a result of you taking the smoking area option away? Think of Maggie Joyce with pent-up rage in heavy traffic on the highway, and you get an idea of what Smokey could be like in a smoke-free situation....Think about it.
-Some Flyers fans made their presence felt in support of Reemer. Not only did they see Reemer get a beauty of a goal, but they were treated to something that is just never seen in Philly these days...The hometeam winning.
-While we do call our building Lake Whittemore, it didn't give BC the right to dive every which way across the ice.
-Mr. Dries had himself a productive evening with 2 goals, one of them being Ovechkin-esque in nature....It's got to be the hair.
-And now we examine the weekend of BC's so-called Hobey candidate better known as the Gerbe Baby. 2 Important Games: NO goals, NO Assists, plenty of unsuccessful dive attempts, and he apparently had a temper tantrum in the locker room hallways when Aiello didn't want to change his diaper (which was a shocking fact on it's own).
-Meanwhile, Merri-mat had themselves a good weekend against Proviced (sorry Jon), so much so, we here at Hoser Nation cooked up a new look for them in honor of them getting out of the cellar thus kicking the Mainers down those cellar stairs even if for a moment.
-Finally, Captain Hobey Fornataro put the final tally home to send the Metrosexual failures back to Newton with their man-purses in tow for a long night of tear-filled wine coolers, no cuddle time from the Gerbe baby for the collar-popping trust-fund boys, and probably more games filled with emo music.Congrats on another Regular Season title to everyone involved; coaches, players, trainers, staff, and our fellow fans. Still plenty of work to be done though. See you all Friday for a night with Merri-mat at Lake Whittemore. Remember to Keep your heads held high, and your collars down. Goodnight Canada, and of course as always,
Good day, Eh!
Rouge
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