Quote of the week:
"KUUUUUNNNNNTTTTZZZZZZ!!!!"
-The common reaction by most who noticed that the KC Royals 1st base coach is named Rusty Kuntz
Welcome back Ladies and Hosers. After a couple of weekend's worth of debauchery, mayhem, and world conquering, yours truly has returned with some thoughts on the big hockey related announcement of the week. No, the Mainers have yet to completely renounce their ways by admitting that they follow a program that encourages cheating, macking on Hannah Montana aged girls, drug use, and general deviance, but this announcement is just as rewarding.
After months of it already being general public knowledge, the NHL officially confirmed that the 2010 Winter Classic Game will be held in the shadow of the Green Monster at hallowed Fenway Park. It will be my beloved Black and Gold, against those punks from PHAILadelphia. As many of you know, I will be making it my mission to be in attendance at this event and will be selling to sell my...errrr umm YOUR kidney to make it happen.
And to top it off, It appears College Hockey will in turn join in the historic event by allowing the lowly likes of Beancan U and Brokeback College to sully the holy grounds of Fenway by having them play a pair of games against yet to be named opponents. Now before all us Hosers get excited, from what I have read thus far, the likely opponents will not be the Good Guys in Blue, but will likely be the Goons from Proviced, and the Cat-A-Frauds. Now of course the smart idea would be to have BU and BC play each other then have UNH and the Mainers go at it on New England's most sacred field of competition, but it appears those in power will go with what might be a failure of an idea. Which got me to thinking...How could the NHL, or college hockey for that matter, manage to create a failure from the concept of an outdoor game. Well, after some investigations, here are some ideas for outdoor games, that just wont work.
BC Hockey @ Alumni Stadium on Brokeback College's campus:
Really, imagine a stadium full of BC bags of douche screaming like little girls at how cold it is. Besides, winter conditions don't allow for Rave fogs to roll in like they do in Conte
NY Islanders @ the Three Mile Island Faceoff.
Well a busted nuclear reactor is nicer than the Nassau Colosieum.
MerriMAT College @ Some NHL Rink sized frozen section of the Merrimack River
Another case of the outdoor venue being nicer than the regular home venue
Carolina Hurri-Cant's @ Darlington Speedway
OK, this was actually an idea some putz actually suggested on the Boston.com sports section forums for future Winter Classic venues. Whoever, this idiot is, I have never wanted to strike someone upside the head with a newspaper for being such a dissapointment to society more than when I read that suggestion. And to add to it, can you imagine the braintrust that is NASCAR nation trying to watch an event at a NASCAR venue that involves taking right turns?
MVU Cat-A-Frauds @ Anywhere in Vermont
Really, can you imagine anything else but the obvious happening where you mix MVU with a venue that has Vermont grass in it? Nothing but blazing.....and hazing
NY Rangers vs Washington Craptials @ Yankee $tadium
This seems to be the likely arrangement for next season, but let's face it, the only people who would be able to afford front row tickets to this event would be Lorne Michaels, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and Alex Ovechkin himself, so why bother?
That's all for now Hoseheads. My next rant for the benefit of society may not be for a while as I'll be be out and about conquering the world for the next few weeks, so before I go, here is a Parting Shot to keep you amused till next time
Good day, Eh!
Rouge
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